1. “Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.”.
2. “I believe there is something out there watching us. (Unfortunately, it’s the government)
3. “There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?”
4. “Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions.”
5. “A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said ‘no’.”
6. “Basically my wife was immature. I’d be at home in the bath and she’d come in and sink my boats.”
7. “I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.”
8. “I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.”
9. “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”
And to sum things up, here is the last nugget of wisdom to go by… however, whenever, and wherever we may be.
10. “The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don’t have.”